Friday, December 31, 2010


So it's almost fucking 2011. One more year to live, if we're to go by crappy John Cusack movies.

A little less than a year ago I posted my 2010 resolutions. Since then, I've lost a boyfriend, gotten a new job, lost a few friends, gained a few friends, appreciated alcohol, lost all hope of having a normal sleep cycle, and have found out who really matters in my life. I've started a new fish tank, haven't finished the 55 gallon that is (still) sitting in my basement, and have figured out a Plan. A Plan for my life. It's still in transition, but I know what I'm going to do. Which is pretty fucking fantastic, if you ask me.

I hope ya'll have a fantastic New Year's. And I hope that your hangovers aren't that bad.

And, above all, I hope that ya'll can appreciate the goods, the bads, and the absolute insanity of 2011. Let's make it a good year. That's my plan.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Raisin my whiskey glass

The tree is twinkling. In that totally innocent and wholesome way that trees bedecked with little minature lights and ornaments do. Under it are carefully wrapped presents (none of them mine, because I? Still have wrapping to do. And mine wouldn't look that nice anyways). It's a Wonderful Life is playing on the television in the background, and people today have had a sort of bounce in their step. A silent and visual indicator that the Christmas spirit is upon us.

I don't remember when I started to transform into a Grinch. I loved Christmas as a kid. Lived for it. And now? Eh. Mneh actually. With a side of "Bah Humbug."

I finished the last of my Christmas shopping tonight. Let me tell you, it was a fantastic adventure. There is nothing quite like entering into a department store at closing time on Christmas Eve (yea, I know. I'm an ass). But, Grandmom and Grandpop got their sweaters (because wtf else am I going to get them? I'm not particularly close to my family, and gift cards are usually frowned upon for some ungodly reason).

I'm sitting here, surrounded by presents. Mountains of wrapping paper await them in the other room. Cookie dough waits to be baked into cute little gingerbread men, complete with icing buttons.

And yet, and yet, I just can't muster up the Christmas cheer.

I'm incredibly lucky to have the people I do in my life. I have the best friends anyone could ask for. I've got a supportive family. My debt is little. Life is good.

And it might be taking a new turn soon. More details on that later, since I can't say anything for sure yet.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention my loves over at 20sb. Mollie, Kandace...Brian and Bobby. Ya'll rock. Seriously. Like Wowzies.

Kandace even gave me a lovely and shiny award :)

Do you see that shit? It's got a kitteh in it. I love kittehs. Thanks Kandace!

So I'm raising my whiskey glass to you tonight fellow bloggers. I hope Santa brings you something devilishly wonderful. Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 17, 2010


I'm stuck in an in-between.

I fucking hate in-betweens. They sneak up from behind and have the nasty habit of trapping ya. I can't move forward, I can't move back - I'm just stuck.

Maybe it's time to take some risks.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Dear Stranger

Dear Stranger,

I don't know you. I don't know if I will ever truly know you. But you will change my life one day. We might meet on a bus, or at work. We might just happen to bump into each other on the side of the street, or maybe you know one of my friends. Maybe not. I don't know.

The circumstances don't matter as much as we like to think they do.

I've met others like you. People who have changed my fundamental being, people who have torn down my walls. People who have shown me what it means to be human, what it is to be someone. Some of them I've loved. Some of them I haven't. All of them have impacted me.

I thank them for that. And I thank you, whoever you are, for being you. Because without you, I wouldn't be me.


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Pour some sugar on it

Sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield. Mark Knopfler said some shit like that once, and I can't help but totally agree with him. Usually, I'm pretty good at balancing myself, but lately I've been more bug and less windshield.

My parakeet told me to snap out of it. Ok, really, all he said was "pour some sugar on me" (yes, he actually does say it, and no, I don't have that shit up on Youtube. Yet.), but I get the feeling that that's what he meant.

Bug's death-date is approaching. I feel like I should stop by her grave and give her some flowers or shit - but really, for someone who was as awesome as she is that falls a bit short. Far too conventional. Maybe if I set the cemetary on fire...she'd appreciate that.

Someone who I once considered to be a friend isn't talking to me (story of my life?). Christmas is here, so I pretty much have to force cheerful bubbly happiness out of every pore of my body while at work (gag). Seriously people. I am not cheerful. Rudolph can die in a hole for all I care. You remember the part where he was drifting on the piece of ice?

I always secretly hoped it would capsize.

Life would be boring if it were easy. I think. I mean, don't get me wrong, if I win the lotto I'm not going to be all "oh gosh, this is just too easy! Take back your evil money!" Hell no.

I'm totally takin that shit and going on a vacation. Several vacations, actually. I think I'll start in Spain.

If you never hear from me again, that's where I'm at. On a beach somewhere with Raymundo, soaking up the rays and sippin a Mai Tai.