Friday, November 13, 2009


I started this blog as a sounding board for my opinions, thoughts, ideas, and feelings.

Hence the title, Notions.

Well, I'm about to enter into very *depressing* territory here (at least, for me), so don't say I didn't warn you.

I feel as though my stomach has twisted in on itself. And no matter what I do, I can't seem to untwist it. There's this really big lump in my throat that won't go away. That's right...I think I might be a bit depressed.

See, I'm a bit PMS-y, which can and does throw my emotions off a bit. Usually everything is intensified (I can just feel all you guys out there who've had experience with this phenomenon wincing), and for all intensive purposes, sometimes I can go a bit apeshit.

Right now is one of those times. I recently logged onto facebook (I know I's the devil), and saw that one of my friends has unfriended me. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal to me. But...she was someone who I've always held in high esteem, and who I had once considered to be my best friend.

Granted, we don't really talk all that often anymore. And yea, I don't exactly agree with her choice in boyfriend material. We won't go there though, and I think I've been pretty good at not ranting about it anymore (may have had a few rough spots in the beginning of their relationship, but whatevs...I figured it was all under the bridge). But we still contact each other on and off, and I have some comfort in knowing that she is simply a phone call away if I need her. That is, at least, until last night.

Damnit, it hurts. She was my best friend once upon a time, and I like to think that we helped each other out in some pretty rough spots. I used to be able to tell her anything and everything, and not fear recrimination or judgement. She was like a sister to me.

I think that we began to separate when we both started to get different friends in college. She made a whole lot of friends that were within her major, and I made a few that were in mine. From what I understand, this drifting is pretty normal for people who enter into the insanity of college life. And drifting is normal, and I even expected it. Regardless, we've always been very friendly throughout the years.

So why now? Why has she chosen to eliminate all traces of me from her life? I don't think I've done anything to offend her. And if it were just a matter of her "cleaning house" as it were on facebook (that is to say, unfriending all friends who she hasn't spoken to in a while), then she would have unfriended a whole lot of other people as well...people she hasn't talked to since high-school. Instead, from what I gather, she simply unfriended both me and Pookie.

I don't know why, and that kind of kills me. And I'm sure a lot of this hurt is caused by the hormonal condition known as raging bitch syndrome PMS. But 10 years of friendship (ok, 8 if you don't want to count the recent years where we've just kind of contacted each other on and off) is a lot of years to just flush away without a thought.

So I'm in a bad place right now. I'm hurting, and I don't know how to make it stop.

I think I'll start with some chocolate, and go from there.


  1. Captain Dumbass: Yes, it took care of the hormones quite nicely :)

  2. I'm sorry to hear this. My best friend of approximately 21 years (yes, we met in 4th grade) has probably unfriended me on Facebook, too, easily the weightiest insult of the 21st century, but I'm too scared to check.

    On a related note, I heard on NPR (aren't I a little snob?) that the Oxford English Dictionary has declared that "unfriend" is its "Word of the Year."

    So there you go.

  3. Mr. Apron: Huh. Unfriend is word of the year. Guess I'm not the only one who's feeling the loneliness.


Because I'm needy.