Smarmy Saturday

So my Freaky Friday feature seems to keep on getting pushed back to Saturdays. So Freaky Friday has now changed into Smarmy Saturday. Woohoo.

I feel horrible. The doctor wasn't sure whether or not I have swine flu. Her response to my questioning? "Well, it could be swine flu. Or it might be something else."

Thankyou Doctor. Like I couldn't figure that out by myself.

Regardless, I now have a nice shiny new package of Tamiflu on the counter top downstairs. My body can't seem to make up its mind as to whether or not it wants to be hot or cold - I went from a 102 degree fever all the way down to 96.4 degrees.

That can't be good, can it?

So for Smarmy Saturday this week I decided to comment on some things that annoy the piss out of me. I'm usually critical as hell when I'm sick, so it fits my current mood.

1.) Miley Cyrus - When she stops stuffing her bra I may take her a little more seriously as an "artist." Or not. There was that whole pole-dancing fiasco a few weeks back....

2.) Swine Flu - Really, I don't see why everyone's panicking. It's a version of the flu. Get over it. Sure, people have died from it. But most of those people had compromised immune systems. That and I'm so freaking sick of hearing about it on the news.

3.) Small Unruly Children - Ok, listen mothers of the world. I understand that you've got a billion and one things going on in your lives. But I swear, if you don't get off your damn cell phone and stop your kid from pounding on the glass of our cages at work and terrifying my animals, I'm going to have to do your job for you. I don't think you want it to come to that.

4.) Banana flavored pudding - Yuck. Just...yuck.

5.) Homophobes - you may have seen my last post concerning gay marraige. Without going into too much detail, let's just say that the opposition kind of pisses me off. Everyone's entitled to an opinion, but when it harms people emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically then there's a big problem with it.

6.) Our new General Manager - yes, we have a new GM at the store. He's a lazy bastard. Thinks he's above actually "working." Pft...I give him about 3 months, maybe less, before he starts crying like a baby and decides to leave.

7.) Slow drivers - We won't go there. Let's just say that they sufficiently piss me off.

8.) Politicians - Stop being so shady and maybe the public would like you better.

9.) The Cold - Urk. I hate being cold, it's pretty intolerable for me. I get all shaky and shivery and my teeth clack. And then whoever I'm around at the time decides to be a genius and point out that my teeth are clacking. I'd move to someplace warm, but I still haven't won the lottery.

10.) Daytime television - I think this one speaks for itself.

So there ya have it...10 things that are presently annoying me.