Today's theme is based off of Craigslist's personals, more specifically the "strictly platonic" section.
1.) Stressed, & Need a Full Body Massage - Yea. That screams "platonic." I feel like I should go scrub myself clean after reading this...excuse me, "kleen."
I am a nice looking, lean, kleen single black male who is low on funds, stressed, & need a full body massage. Will you please be so kind to give me a free massage with a happy ending now? All I ask is that you please be pretty, slim, confidential, clean, & host this in & out session.
Thanks in Advance
No Bots or Dating Sites Responses...Serious Replies Only
Right. Only serious replies. That always cracks me up - people put up ads like this, and expect to get only serious replies. Maybe I'm a bit of a jackass, but I would so totally fuck with their minds.
2.) i want a bestie - hm. We'll let the ad speak for itself.
I am 22. I just moved to the area about a year ago. I am looking for a down to earth girl to be friends with. I work at a bank with nobody my age. I love photography, movies, shopping, going out to eat. I am seeking a bestie who is non judgemental. I am bi, but i will not hit on you, unless you like it lol. I am dating the love of my life. We are getting married in 2011. I need to get in shape before then. A work out buddy would be awesome. I hate super skinny girls that think they are better then me. I am the biggest girly girl and love love shoes. I am a reality tv junkie. Please respond with the word strawberry in the subject. To many weirdos on here. Hope to talk soon.
Because there are too many weirdos on there, she wants the replier to respond with the word "strawberry" as a subject. Uh...huh...girlfriend, you need to do some other activities rather than look for an easy friend and watching Flavor Flav.
3.) DO you ride? - ....
Married, 56 but look about 50 looking for someone to ride with once in awhile. If u want to play or something more then i am curious but it must be discreet
Apparently marraige means nothing these days. Neither does grammer.
So there's my top three "WTF" moments from craigslist's "strictly platonic" section. Granted, they may not be the weirdest of the weird, but they seem to be slightly abnormal to me.
You mean "grammar?"
ReplyDeleteSorry. I write and edit stories all day and I'm a spelling snob. But I do love me some craigslist personals. They crack me the hell up. I often wonder how those ads pan out. Did the guy get his massage? Did the bi chick find a bestie? I need answers to these burning questions.
Love it. People are nuts.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and commenting on my blog! :) <3
~Jenn (Ex Hot Girl)
Daddy Files: Whoopsies. Oy...there I am grumping over another person's grammar, and then I go and spell it wrong. I blame late-night insomnia. I do wonder whether or not these ads ever actually get answered...and then I remind myself that I probably don't want to know.
ReplyDeleteJennifer: Yes, yes they are. Nuts, that is.
I've only searched Craigslist for old photo equipment. Apparently, people search for much more.
ReplyDeletemocha dad: much...much more.
ReplyDeleteDamn, I was sure 'grammer' was an intentional mistake... and then you go and admit it wasn't! Schoolboy error!
ReplyDeleteNever did get into Craig's List, even though I believe it's pretty big over in the UK now. Missed the huge American heyday tho', which I believe was all sorts of awesome.
Now it's just full of weirdos...!
Sebastian: Yea, I was never one for Craigslist either...until I realized the unintentional comedic genius of it.
ReplyDelete