99 things

So I totally stole this from TJ. If you aren't reading his blog, you need to. Because it? Is all sorts of awesome. I don't think I've done a survey like this since my myspace days...

I mentioned myspace to a teenager the other day. He asked me what it was (I FEEL OLD). So, without further ado...a list. My comments are in italics.

Instructions: The post is a list of 99 things you could have done, and you are supposed to bold the ones that you yourself have done.

1. Started your own blog obviously.
2. Slept under the stars bring the bug spray.
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower I make it a habit to try to catch them. The Perseids are my favorite.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity Anything I give is more than I can afford.
7. Been to DisneyWorld Yep. I might have to blog about that trip. It's...amusing.
8. Climbed a mountain Yep. Done that. It was a little one though :-p
9. Held a praying mantis I love praying mantises (mantii?). I held a bit of a fascination for bugs when I was little...and even now I'll pick one up for the hell of it.
10. Sang a solo I don't want to talk about it.
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm One of my favorite things to do in the summer is to sit out on the back deck, with a cup of iced tea, and watch thunderstorms.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch Photography. I used to rent books from the library about photography, and kind of stumbled into the rest. Watercolors and oils as well - learning is half the fun.
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning Another one I don't want to talk about.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables I grow tomatoes in the summer, and tend to mix up the rest. Loose leaf lettuce, cucumbers, peppers. I like to grow herbs as well.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight Uh, yea. You're missing out if you haven't.
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill You know you have. And if you haven't...you're lying.
24. Built a snow fort Every winter. It's one of my traditions.
25. Held a lamb I got chased by one once....
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse Of the heart!!!
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset Back when I was dedicated to my photography, I used to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to grab a sunrise picture. Yea. I was nuts.
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors Both the Irish and Scottish ones! Next up...English, Italian, German...crap. This could get expensive.
35. Seen an Amish community I live less than 40 minutes away from Lancaster. Seriously, why is this even on the list?
36. Taught yourself a new language Uh. I kind of sort of know Spanish. A mute first grader's Spanish, but it counts...right?
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied Working on it.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing Kind of sort of. Since it wasn't technically rock climbing, I'm not going to bold it. But there was a sheer cliff face, and there was climbing involved.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke Thanks Pumpkin. And Kandace. *Grumble*
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt Man. I really want to put a penis joke here.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight I saw baby turtles!
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing We caught a few sharks.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris-
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain And let me tell you. It. Was. Hawt.
53. Played in the mud Who doesn't?
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class Yep. I could totally kick your ass.
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching I don't suppose spending the day at Rehoboth counts?
63. Got flowers for no reason Yes. And it made me blush. Damnit.
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy Her name is Ashley. AND SHE HAS FEELINGS TOO, DAMNIT.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper I was like...7. And I was precocious and had an awesomely carved pumpkin.
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House Standing outside the gate and oogling the greeness of the lawn counts, right?
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee Fucker.

I have joy.

"Sara? Is Sara here?" I remember looking up from my desk during homeroom my very first day of high-school, with some trepidation and a bit of anticipation.

"Here." A single syllable, and one that was meant to be uttered truthfully. But if I'm being honest? I wasn't there. I was anywhere but there. I was too busy trying to figure out my schedule to listen to the teacher tell us the rules, was too busy thinking about the cute boy sitting two seats up to think about the morning prayer, and I was too busy thinking of all the things to come to realize that I? Wasn't there. I'll get back to this in a minute, so stay with me.

Anyways, high-school was a wholly terrifying experience for me.

I didn't quite know how to fit in. Underdeveloped, glasses that could have doubled as petri dishes, and an unfortunate habit of falling were among the least of my concerns during what is oft referred to as 'the best years of my life.'

I'm telling you, World. If those were the best years of my life I might as well just give the fuck up right now.

Seeing as how no lightening has struck me down yet, I'm gunna assume that the Big Guy has better plans for me and that there will, in fact, be better years ahead.

Anyways, the point is, I didn't exactly fit in. Everyone else in art class attempted to make artwork that reflected them. They tried to "express themselves".

I? Made dragons. Because c'mon now...dragons are kickass and kind of awesome. I remember my teacher walking over to where I was carefully laying strips of paper mache over wire.

"Sara. What are you making?" I leaned back slightly to look at her.

"Uhm. Dragon."

"Sara, that's not what the assignment was. You're supposed to express yourself - you need to let us know who you are. I suggest you start over." With a disdainful sniff and the clatter of her cheap ugly heels, she turned and went back to her desk.

I looked at my poor half-constructed reptilian friend, and dismantled him. Started over. Made something suitably expressive. Got an A.

That's pretty much how high-school went for me. Go to class, try to fit in, fail miserably. Go home. Wake up, repeat.

And then I hit college. All of a sudden I was exposed to people from other cultures, I had the chance to get involved in intellectual discussions, I was able to be myself without being looked at like there was something intrinsically wrong with me.

But I didn't.

I didn't step out of my box and get to know my classmates, and I didn't debate and cause hell. I went to class, stayed silent, took my notes and passed my tests. I met a few friends along the way - I even still talk to a few of them, and I'm lucky enough to count at least one as a good friend. I graduated with my BA in anthropology (perhaps one of the biggest ironies in my life thus far is that my degree is in the study of something that I never quite felt a part of - culture).

I had a few boyfriends through college and after it. I've learned something different from every one, and I have the great fortune of genuinely saying that they? Are all really nice guys. I don't regret a thing.

I found myself drifting recently. Depression set in, and I began drinking far too much. I contemplated doing something that I swore to myself that I'd never do to myself ever again. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw nothing. An absolute void of a person, with no notable accomplishments to date and no reason to exist.

I was wrong.

All my life I've had people telling me who I am, what I should do, what's appropriate and what's not. I've had people judge me based off my job, and I've had people tell me what I should think about this, that or the other. And I? Am sick of it.

I have plans. Big ones. And I will accomplish them in my own time. When I, and no one else, am ready for them. I'm so tired of sophomoric, needless drama that does nothing other than inhibit who and what I am - all so that other people can give me the great "benefit" of their "advice."

In short, I'm done with giving a fuck.

I am done with trying to be this person that I think people will like. I'm done with saying 'here' without really meaning it. I'm done with making a suitable facsimile of what people think I should be.

I'm going to be a mother-fucking dragon if I damn well want to be.

And it is in this revelation that I've finally found my joy. And my groove.

I finally got my groove back.

Time to accomplish something great.

KBROD March

So I finally got roped into doing the karaoke blog ring of death.

That's right. I did karaoke. On the youtube. Where tens millions of people will watch it. You want in on the watching? Then check out the fabulous Tab's blog. She kind of rocks.

Big big thanks to Nips. Without her, this whole crazy bout of insanity never would have happened.

And y'wanna know who else rocks? Daniella. That's the lovely lady whose video is posted below. Mhm. Check her out. She's freakin adorable. I envy her eyes. Look at how freakin blue they are! JEALOUS. Anyways, Daniella sent me this little tidbit to put before her KBROD vid. And I couldn't agree with it more(and don't forget to visit her blog!)

So the best part about college is right here in this very song. So at 2am when I recorded it, completely sober, this is what I chose. Enjoy!

Music and Revelations

Music postings. I tend not to do them. But, thanks to the fine folks over at 20sb, my dark cloud has been pierced by the wonderful sounds of their musical recommendations. Here's a few of my favorites:

Zaz. She's french. And sassy. And she looks like she just gets so much joy out of singing - it's just fun to watch her. Thanks Rawr, for suggesting her :) I'd heard of her before, but I kind of forgot her :P



Next up: Tom suggested this band. This particular song makes me want to spin...over and over and over again, until I'm deliriously dizzy. I adore spinning 'round and 'round.



Now, one of my favorite vocalists. I first saw John Faye back when I was at UD when he was singing alone for a charity thing...and I remember being absolutely blown away. I could just close my eyes and listen to him all. Day. Long. And all. Night. Long. I love this man's vocals, I really do. He's the lead singer of IKE, and I hope they're around for a while (they had a bit of a rough patch a while back I remember...and my heart almost died that day. I'm glad to see they're still around). Also, this song? Started out as a lullaby for his son. HOW ADORABLE IS THAT? *ovary explode*



Another fav from my UD days is The Canon Logic. Seriously, these guys freakin rock my socks off - I first saw them a few years ago, back when I was a photographer for the school paper. I was required to go to Deer Park (a bar...who likes to call itself a tavern) and take photos of them. They blew me away, and I was hooked from that moment on. Whenever I'm feeling down, they're my go-to band. Listening to them transports me back to when I was in college, a heavy backpack weighing me down with books, trudging across campus. Maybe stopping by the Scrounge to grab a quick bite to eat, maybe saying hi to a few friends/professors/acquaintances, going out every Thurs night to see the bands at Deer Park with my friend A, and avoiding all the skuzzy creepers as we rocked out to whatever band was playing (copious amounts of alcohol may or may not have been involved). And my fancy with this particular band has nothing to do with them being hawt. Nope. That's just a bonus. I mean, really. How can you NOT smile when seeing this video?



See. Instant smile. Admit it, you're smiling.

I've been having a horrible, no good, downright nasty week. I'd forgotten one of my principles - Just Be. I mean, I know it sounds simple and whatnot (and like something you'd find in some God-awful self-help book), but I think that we - more often then not - get so caught up in the little things that we forget about the big picture. We forget that life's too short to be mired in drama and unhappiness.


And thanks to the 20sb crowd - and a little bit of music - things are suddenly looking up, and I've remembered who and what I am. That's better than any therapy I could ever pay for.

Goodbye Drama. Goodbye Unhappiness. Goodbye bad feelings, lingering thoughts, and worries.

Hello Happy.

Hello world.